π T'was The Night Before Eid
The night before Eid always created a buzz in our house growing up. Sometimes my sisters and I were lucky enough to get henna on our hands; weβd excitedly sleep on old sheets on the bedroom floor and wake up to the smell of dried henna on our pillows.
The house was always busy: ironing our best clothes, my parents marinating biryani for our semi-annual Eid dinner, taking turns straightening our hair, picking out favorite costume jewelry to go with our Indian clothes.
Weβd usually get to skip school, so even if Eid fell mid-week like it does this year, there was the particular excitement of not doing homework while we knew all our schoolmates were. Instead, we got a full day of hanging out with our Muslim friends in what felt like the secret part of our life.
ποΈ If You're New Here
This is The Messy Middle, a newsletter about the leadership journey no one tells you about. I'm Arshiya Kherani, an executive and founder coach and speaker. I write about the things most people skip in professional spaces: identity shifts, and what it actually takes to lead with intention when the path isn't always clear.
This week: what inclusive leadership actually looks like in practice.
π«Άπ½ Lessons From Pre-DEI America
As Iβve gotten older, the night before Eid brings back countless memories, nostalgia, and deep gratitude for our immigrant parents. They were working in a far less DEI America, and did everything they could to make the day special for us. My mom would run from the morning Eid prayer to work, pop out during her lunch hour to visit with us, then race home at 5pm to finish the biryani before 100 people came over to celebrate.
I know she always felt a little sad that she couldnβt take the whole day off with us like some other moms did. But I was always amazed by how much she hustled and made it a point to celebrate, and to make sure we had a memorable Eid as kids.
I think about her a lot when I think about what it means to show up for the people in your life. About what it means to have someone in your corner who gave everything so you could have a good day, and how that shapes your point of view when youβre older.
βStart With Curiosity
Maybe you have an intersectional identity too. Maybe you had a celebration like this as a kid, one that pulled you into a secret world, shaped how you see things, and developed you in ways you couldn't put your finger on until much later.
Those experiences don't disappear when you walk into a conference room. They live in how you make decisions, what you notice, and the perspective you bring to the table.
If you have a colleague who celebrates Eid, or for that matter, Diwali, Lunar New Year, or any tradition that lives outside the Western calendar, have you ever asked them what it means to them, or what traditions they carry in that season or on that day? Have you noticed when they didn't ask for the day off, and wondered why? Have you offered them the day off before they even asked for it?
The American landscape around inclusive leadership and DEI has been volatile at best over the last decade, but I'd argue that the simplest thing you can do right now for your people, your culture, and your organization, is to get curious. Ask a colleague about a tradition they observe. What does the day mean to them? What do they wish people understood?
Inclusive leadership isn't a training or a policy; it's the practice of inviting your colleagues from intersectional backgrounds to bring their real-life perspective into the workplace. The more you can understand the experiences and people that shaped them, the better you can incorporate their strengths into your leadership growth strategy.
π A Gift For You
A few months ago my friend Sophia and I asked ourselves: where do senior leaders go to just talk? Not to network or put on a show, but a space to think out loud and problem solve with peers who have been in similar situations.
We couldn't find that ourselves, so we built Kismet Coffee Hour, a free, monthly roundtable for senior leaders. This month, we're talking about portfolio careers, AI disruption, and getting laid off.
Come think out loud with us. Thursday, May 28 at 9am PST.
π₯¨ Snacks
π― This Week's Take: A good story can build a brand, but can't save a business.β
π Food For Thought: Are you the dorector or the director?
π€Έπ½ββοΈ My Happy Place: THIS is where I learned how to channel my energy and really commit to the long game.
ποΈ On My Heart: Remembering the people of Gaza this Eid.
π To all those who celebrate, Eid Mubarak. May all our prayers be accepted, and may we see a Free Palestine in our lifetime.
Arshiya
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