You’re reading The Messy Middle: weekly deep dives on leadership, startups, identity, politics, and how we stay sane and think about it all.
✈️ Talking Through The Turbulence
I was flying back home from Houston, and I looked out the window and saw a lightning storm right next to the plane. It was absolutely beautiful, and of course, terrifying. The plane wasn't shaking at all, and it felt like my eyes were deceiving me.
My thoughts were interrupted by the muffled voice of the pilot: we're about to go through a storm, the fasten seatbelt sign is on, and we're due for about 5 minutes of turbulence.
Within moments, I felt some of the worst turbulence I'd ever experienced in my life. The pilot promptly came back on the speaker and said we were going to be fine, and there's just a few minutes left.
My nerves calmed down a little, though I was still clutching my arm rest and wondering why I never keep my glasses with me in case of a plane crash. I whispered a little prayer, and looked around at people taking off headphones, smiling at each other, and calming their kids.
We got through it in a few minutes, and the pilot came on again and said we did great, and it'll be smooth sailing until we get home. And it was.
💡 What The Pilot Got Right
Nothing about the turbulence changed when the pilot told us what to expect. The plane still shook; I was still suddenly hit with the very slim chance of what might happen if the plane went down.
But, when the pilot told us what to expect and told us he's got us, I felt like I was in good and steady hands.
Over the past two months, I've had back to back coaching sessions with leaders coming from places where big layoffs are happening, and their managers aren't talking to them about what's next. So they are scared, but with no one to steady them at their workplace.
The pattern I keep seeing is that most senior leaders underestimate how much their silence costs them when things get hard. Silence through a storm costs you trust and loyalty from your team. Your team isn't looking for you to fix it or make the turbulence stop; they just need to know that you see it, and that you're still flying the plane to get them home safely.
🪞 A Moment To Look Inward
Think about the last time something was hard at work. A reorg, a budget cut, a team dynamic nobody said out loud, a shift in direction you weren't entirely sure about yourself. What did you say? And more importantly, what did you not say?
The gap between those two things is where trust is built or it erodes. The thing is, you don't have to have answers to communicate well during hard times; you just have to be willing to say something.
The pilot never promised me it wouldn't be scary. He just reassured me that he hadn't fled the cockpit, and that's what made him great on the job.
✨ July 30th: *FREE* Live Session
If this newsletter hit close to home, come talk about it live on Thursday, July 30th at 9 am PST. Kismet Coffee Hour is a free monthly virtual gathering for senior leaders who are done pretending the leadership journey looks as clean as it does on LinkedIn. Next month, we'll chat about How To Build Trust As A Leader In An Uncertain Job Market.
🥨 Snacks
🏆 Client Win: How my client went from PIP to promotion during our 90 days coaching container.
⚽ Summer of Sports: Jordan's soccer team played an incredibly hard game last night against Austria. Even though they lost, it's hard not to watch Ali Olwan score Jordan's first ever goal in a World Cup match and feel like it was a victory.
🖋️ Worth Reading: According to Forbes, here are the 10 ways to stay ahead of leadership in 2026.
💡 5-4-3-2-1 Countdown: What I learned from a Hollywood stunt-man about risk in entrepreneurship.
💸 Money: It turns out GenZ isn't necessarily thriving...they're...LARPing?
See you in next week's mess,
Arshiya
