I went in thinking I’d learn a few frameworks to support overwhelmed managers. But as usual, Anna sent me out of this Zoom room with a mirror held up to my own tendencies under stress.
Here’s what stuck:
Most of us think we’re being crystal clear...all the time. (Hint: we are not!). Especially in team settings, it's easy to assume that people are misinterpreting us when things don't go our way, but Anna made me really think: who amongst us is excellent at articulating what we expect to happen, from the get go?
"An expectation unarticulated is a disappointment guaranteed." (Rachel Pacheco hit me in the gut with that one.)
Throughout the session, we dug into six core archetypes. I saw myself in the "Warrior/Survivalist” camp: intensely passionate, action-oriented to a fault, solution-driven, constantly strategizing. During the session I realized that if I’m honest, I often throw ideas at people faster than they can catch them.
When things get hard, I do more. But that doesn’t mean it’s what the team needs.
🌀 Fight, Flight, or Freeze?
You may have heard of Fight, Flight, and Freeze responses. These stress responses aren’t just biological or isolated to therapy — they show up in your leadership too. I’ve always admired how some people can both freeze and think. I...tend to sprint either into fight mode, or completely away.
Anna offered a helpful prompt:
What is your most predictable response to discomfort?
Mine? Over-functioning. Over-correcting, maybe.
What might yours be, and how does it become your leadership achilles heel? Maybe you under-communicate. Or redirect. Or slip into perfectionist mode and refuse to delegate.
And that’s the kicker: the very behavior that often gets us into leadership positions is often what sabotages us when we’re actually in them.
We rise for what we can execute — but leading is less about doing, and more about designing for others to succeed. Which brings me to the idea that’s been echoing since the session...
👥 The Human Equation
When someone underperforms, it’s tempting to assume malice or incompetence. But what if we frame this outcome through the lens of empathy and instead assume...they just didn’t know what you wanted?
The best part of the session was a deceptively simple idea: most of us are not misinterpreting each other on purpose. Maybe as teams, we’re just not slowing down enough to design for success.
This made me wonder: am I creating systems that make it easy for people to win?
If you’re navigating a big shift, a growing team, or a sneaky case of over-functioning... maybe this is your sign to schedule a debrief with your co-collaborators. What is crystal team for you AND your team? And what might be landing in the gray area, creating chaos for all?
Reply here, I'd love to learn from your experience!
🥨 Snacks
This week's snacks are highly political, and highly nerdy. It is what it is.
